Just wanted to write about the events that happened today..
My singhalese friend "I" came and met me today..She recently got married to a guy she saw in Srilanka and none of her parents, family members and friends know about it. She was telling me how this marriage took place all of a sudden and how this guy has become a pain in her a** now!This guy is still staying in Srilanka, and does not do any work, and always asks her to send money for his living! And if she doesnt repond to his requests for money, he threatens to commit suicide! It seems he was telling her that if his mother passes away, he would definitely commit suicide, since he does not know what to do without his mother! One helluva guy! She was asking me what to do with him! I just told her one thing - Divorce Him!! I cant stand men who depend on women for money! Yuck! There is no use of having this idiot as a husband, so suggested her to divorce him and she feels that it is a wise decision! I am not sure whether what I have done is right or wrong - but this is the right decision according to me! Its better to come out of a relationship rather than trying to adjust with some lazy buffoon who does not love her but just wants her for money! I am not sure how many of you would agree with me on this! A typical balachander type of puratchi! If she had kids, then its a different story, but since she doesnt - its better for her to come out and marry someone else!
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Why on earth do these girls wear makeup and come to temples? They dress as if they are coming to a fashion show!! Ridiculous! It just irritates me to see these women coming to temples wearing all these jewels as if they are parading for a jewellery ad! Atrocious!Ditto with men who come with rings in their all their fingers and gold chains on their necks! It just irritates me!! I cant stand it!
posted by Gnana Kirukan @ 10:45 PM
29 Comments:
The first we have already talked. Now the second half - You go to the temple to pray and meditate on God - why are you sitting and watching what others wear or do - we believe that everyone has right to do what they want to do - by this post aren't you trying to impose on what you expect others to wear in the temple.
For most of the people - temple is not only a place to connect with God but also a place to socialize and meet other folks - so they are all dressed up and decked up - for they love showing what they got. And many could be going out after they come to temple.
You are like a bro to me - So I said what i felt - I am sorry if i have offended you
Apart from agreeing to Aatma on his comment, I have my own words of wisdom to add.
Generally, when people buy new dresses and new jewellery or whatever they want to go to the temple wearing it. So maybe, it's now become a habit to go to temple well-dressed.
Coming to the first part now, divorce is a good decision. Maybe there's no use trying to dragging on a relationship that has no mutual value, but there will be times in life when such a relationship becomes the focus of our lives. At this stage, when we feel we are in an apparently stronger position, we are looking at the option of withdrawal. Sometimes, that option is closed.
Arjuna,
For the first case, divorce is the best option! In the same breath, we need to take lots of lessons from this case as well.
Apporam,
Temple is an place for intimate rendezvous. if we go there for realizing ourselves with the ONE, the made up women and gold chain men come to realize each other mebbe ;)
Aatma - well - I do not buy ur argument! As TJ has pointed out, u are questioning the basis of going to temples! I guess u shuld read TJ's awesome post on y we go to temples!
http://thenathans.blogspot.com/2005/07/why-to-go-to-sivan-temple.html
Ok - I shall ask u a question - Y do u think the muslims dont allow women to come to mosques?
When u compare my post to that - I am not telling women shuld not come to temples since they are distracting the men - what I am trying to say is that these ppl come to flaunt their beauty and wealth in temples!! Temple is a place where ppl of all types of nature come! there wuld be poor,middleclass,rich,ugly,pretty etc..
By flaunting their assets - their not distracting me! I am never distracted by these cheap gimmicks since I have enough of it! I am talking about others who dont have it - these ppl become a catalyst to raise material interests,jealousy etc among the ppl who dont have them!
So I guess - if I become a temple president - I shall impose these regulations! I dont care if ppl dont come to temples!
Adi - see - ppl are trying to show off what they have - that too in temples! That is bad! They shuldnt do that at all!
TJ - I concur with you completely :) - well said :)
Atma - another question - wuld u keep quiet if someone comes in a bikini? :P - apart from both of us enjoying the sight :))
Arjuna, neenga solra rule bhaghavaanukkum porundhuma? In most temples, the deities are decked up with lots of jewels, flowers etc. :)
viji - he he - eppadi thaan ippadi ellam yosichu enna madakringalo
:( - I guess I need to ask TJ for help here! :) - but I will return another question to u - did Bhagwan ask u to deck him up with jewels? :P
I think, human mind is so tuned, that we always think, giver of somethng must first possess it. Water flows from higher level to lower level, electricity flow from higher voltage to a lower voltage.
The deities, where people go for properity are adorned with jewels and signs of prosperity.[like tirupati and most temples.]
The deities, where people go for security are adorned with deadly weapons [like ayyanar and ellai kaaLi].
Though ideally, the whole world is the God and everything belongs, to him, for a common bhaktha to belive that God will help him.
It is not only in Sanatana dharma. It is all over the world. If God is ever powerful, then why should he send someone to earth, get him curified and then proclaim that, the sins of humans are washed. If God wanted he can just writeoff the sins. :)
There are some rituals that hold the concepts. Without them the concepts will fail miserably.
Divorce is the best idea.
OK.. she is not the same Srilankan beautiful girl "D".. so, I agree with your suggestion to her.
UK-le irundhundu kovilukku make-up la varradhaai pathi complain pannaa eppadi?
if u dont like men wit jewels u havent met adikesavan, after that ull run a mile if u c a ring!!
TJ - those are good explanations :)
Jeevan - thanks for concurring with my views :)
raju - btw who is that "D"? - I really forgot :P
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vatsan - he he he - man that guy is really awesome! nadamadum thanga maligai :))
Arjuna the view you hold is dictatorship - temple is one place i don't want anyone to impose rules on to what to wear and what not to wear - until unless it becomes indecent. I don't think anyone will wear a bikini and come.
Even i used to think in your way - But i have realized that i should not try to determine what one has to wear or how one has to behave. You quoted about Muslims not allowing women in the mosque - do u think that is right ? Just because men get distracted, women have to suffer - wow what an argument.
This is similar to what right winged hindu people said because of how women dress today they are getting raped - so the blame is on women instead of sick and pathetic men who cannot control themselves.
And i don't buy your argument of people feeling jealous or feeling materialistic - just because i restrict what people wear in temple will not change their way of thinking - there is grocery stores, there is jewelery stores, there is offices, there is marriages - everywhere this will come up.
People have to change the way they think and that will happen only when they decide to look within themself and realize - and the day they do - nothing will matter anymore.
Arjuna very well post written by TJ - Kudos to him
When i go to temple, I don't see anything but the almighty - he is the only one is my mind, in my sight, everything else is a blur. So it doesnot bother me or effect me.
I go for the temple for that reason why others come - how others come is none of my concern -
but if it goes out of control i will do what is needed
Atma - again I guess u didnt write my reply properly :P - I never said what the muslims are doing is right! I never advocated that! What I pointed was - my post implied restrictions on what ppl wear to temples!
Atma - wow ur a realized soul - but unfortunately I am not :P
ppl should have some social responsibility and wear proper clothes! Even though I wuld prefer to have pretty women around me :P - LOL
OH Arjuna - let that fello commit suicide, there's no use of him to the society, he will only end up as a pain to others.
I agree with you ppl should be simple when they come to the temple, they are spoiling the atmosphere of the temple. lets speak in practical sense, a girl who ramps in the temple will make others concentrate on her sexual attitude rather than a bhakthi on God ... totally ridiculous ppl, they dont have bhakthi within them nor do they feel that others should live properly ... these ppl will go to the foulest hell
Control Sarvana, whose fault is it really - is it the girl's who wore the ramp walk dress (frankly speaking not seen many of those in a temple) or the people who look at her through those looks.
Just because one cannot control his own looks, you are advising the other person to wear simple clothes - wow thats some explanation
Somewhere it doesn't make sense.
Apologies for generalising here, I do think the Sri Lankan girls in the UK wear more jewellery to the temple than a girl would to a wedding in India. Unlike what you guys think, I don't think its to distract you (its not all about you men you know) but more to do with showing off & social status etc rather than anything else.
susubala and wicked angel - thanks for agreeing with me :)
Arjuna- it’s not a question of God asking to be decked up. The fact remains that we don't get irritated by that (maybe because we love him), whereas, when we see mundane people dressed up, we give them the hostile eye. But, not everyone can have the same amount of clarity that you are blessed with...
It will be good if we don't bother about such issues and get sidetracked. And, if other people do get distracted... well, they deserve it.
TJ- enna sollardhu... I bow to your superior intelligence. :)
P.S: Then, why do people throng Siva temples, where the Lingam is devoid of anything materialistic? (save the occasional veshti)
Viji - infact, I am not bothered at all :))..I am just amused by it - that's all :)..
ppl still throng to Siva's temples - boss,that is the power of thalai! :)..
Yeah - Siva temples are for ppl like me ;)
Arjuna- Same pinch ! :)
viji - romba pinch panathinga - valika poguthu :))
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