Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Society does not allow them to do so..

Scene 1:
Yesterday when I was travelling on a bus, I saw an incident which made me put this post. There was an old gujju lady trying to get into the bus and was struggling to get in. So a young black guy helped her get onto the bus by holding her hands. This old lady started screaming "leave my hand, leave my hand" and the black guy got so pissed off, he pulled her out of the bus and he went in. When I saw the incident, I was pissed off with this black guy and thought of going and bashing him up, but when I pondered upon the incident, I felt what he did was right! This guy tried to help someone who is in need, but the needy person has insulted him in public. I am quite sure that this guy will never help anyone!

Scene 2:
Three months ago, when I was driving to the tennis courts, one asian guy in his fifties came and asked me for a lift to the tube station. Seeing his plight, I asked him to get in. From his beard, I knew that this guy was a muslim. Seeing me, he should have thought I was a muslim! When he came in, he asked me for my name. When I said my name is Arjuna - he got pissed off! He started saying - "your should throw away your religion - your religion is old and Islam is new - you are betraying God - blah blah" - and mind you he is inside my car and I am helping him out!! I was so pissed off - but being a HINDU - I tolerated it!! I asked him "Are you trying to say that I should throw away anything that is old?". He said "Yes"..So I asked him that means should I throw away my parents, grand parents etc? He didnt have an answer to my question! He said "No, no they are not old as Hinduism!". What rubbish! I just smiled and when the station came I dropped him in. The whole journey he did not smile at me!

This incident made me to rethink my policies. I decided never to give a lift to anyone. Even if he is a needy person I should not give. My family members advised me not to give a lift to old people since if anything happens to them inside my car - then I am in a soup!!! I will be behind bars!

Now the point of my post is, from Scene 1 and Scene 2, what do you infer? What I inferred was, even if a person wants to do good to the society, he ends up in trouble! Its better for him to mind his own business, rather than helping others! In countries like India and Srilanka, if someone gets an accident and if there is someone to help him, and if something bad happens to the person who met an accident, then this person who helped him has to face the consequences! So how will anyone come to help? This totally contradicts what Shankar was trying to say in Anniyan! There are many people in this world who are ready to help the society. But they are not able to do so. And the only sole reason is "Society does not allow them to do so".

42 Comments:

At August 17, 2005 6:53 AM, Blogger Sriram C S said...

Is it not greater and nobler to help others even when they do not help back or when they hurt back? innA seythArai oRuththal avar nANa nannayam seythu vital, right? :)

 
At August 17, 2005 7:51 AM, Blogger Arjuna_Speaks said...

agnibharathi - yes I completely agree that it is noble to help others even when they hurt us..But how many of us are like Jesus Christ? One more thing, if we are alone, then we can always take risks and help - but when someone is dependent on you - how can we take risks to help others?

 
At August 17, 2005 8:39 AM, Blogger TJ said...

"Nalladhukke kaalam illai"
"Paathiram arindhu pichai idu"
"Dhustanai kandaal dhoora vilagu"
----------------------------
Ellam namakku dhaan solli irukkanga ;)

 
At August 17, 2005 12:06 PM, Blogger Kavitha said...

so true !!!
i felt it myself when i accidentally stamped a lady and asked sorry, she started shouting at me, "sorry" solli irukavey kuudathunu nenachen !!

 
At August 17, 2005 12:25 PM, Blogger Chakra Sampath said...

I have a related incident..

A middle aged lady was getting into the bus in Trichy and was standing in the steps when the bus moved on. She was not holding on to anything and was about to fall down, when the conductor grabbed her hand and pulled her in to safety.

You know what.. She simply blasted him for grabbing her hand. At that time, I felt that she deserved to be kicked out of the running bus.

There are cases like this. Makes one feel what you felt.

 
At August 17, 2005 1:08 PM, Blogger Arjuna_Speaks said...

TJ - perfect - I guess I need to follow those principles!!Nallavangaluku (??) kaalamai illa ;)

 
At August 17, 2005 1:09 PM, Blogger Arjuna_Speaks said...

Kavitha - I dont think educated people would do those kind of things..Only the uneducated would do such things..Maybe she didnt know the meaning of sorry ;) - she wuld have heard saari :))

 
At August 17, 2005 1:10 PM, Blogger Arjuna_Speaks said...

chakra - very true - I cant tolerate these things..How can we expect to give love to someone when that person doesnt deserve it? Very hard for me!

 
At August 17, 2005 1:34 PM, Blogger Sriram C S said...

How can we expect to give love to someone when that person doesnt deserve it? Is not love itself supposed to be given when it is not deserved? Anyone can love somebody who loves them, but true love should love even he (or she) who hates, right? If we were to offer love to only those who love back and if we were to help only those who deserve, then does it not become a business bargain? In fact, can we call it love or sympathy when we expect something in return? And as you said Arjuna, not everyone would be a Jesus Christ, but we could try!

 
At August 17, 2005 1:52 PM, Blogger Arjuna_Speaks said...

Agnibharathi - How can we love Osama Bin Laden? How can we love Saddam Hussein? How can we love George Bush? How can we love the muslim radicals? How can we love Hitler (even though I like him ;) )How can we love Duryodhana? How can we love Karunanidhi? How can we love Ramadoss? :)

According to me - even though God loves everybody, to get the grace of God, we need to earn it. It doesnt come free..Love comes with a price ;)

 
At August 17, 2005 1:55 PM, Blogger Arjuna_Speaks said...

Even Lord Krishna gets pissed off with Sishupala and kills him :)..I love Krishna's principle..To destroy the bad, you can even follow the adharma path!! That's what he did to Dronacharya! Ennaku therinchathu ellam Adiku Adi, Uthaiku Uthai :))

 
At August 17, 2005 2:07 PM, Blogger Arjuna_Speaks said...

Agnibharathi - But one thing is easy for me - Love all the pretty ones ;) - LOL

 
At August 17, 2005 5:29 PM, Blogger B said...

May be u shud help ppl selectively!! Its always a huge risk to give lift to anonymous peoples.

 
At August 17, 2005 5:44 PM, Blogger B said...

arjuna - pls update my url to
http://flying-thought.blogspot.com/

 
At August 17, 2005 8:27 PM, Blogger krishna said...

Law of Karma instructs us to do actions without expecting the fruits of the action..So ,if u want to help someone,just help him..

Everybody can't be as good as we think we are..So, when we offer our helping hand , we should be aware that ,we might not even be thanked back..so..i guess the maturity lies in accepting this..and it's not that easy..Each and every one of us shuld try and follow watever the Lord(be it christ, krishna watever) has told us to do..

Getting pissed off and other emotions like anger, desire et al arise only when we see the bedham(the difference) .When , one attempts to see Krishna(or any favorite God) everywhere, this differnce will disappear..I guess this should be the top most goal for each and everyone of us..This might be easy or difficult depending upon the Samsara(impressions) in the of a person. But in in any case, one should strive to see the indifference amidst the difference..

 
At August 17, 2005 8:48 PM, Blogger krishna said...

continuing my comment above..:)

The indiffernce is the "universal God" and the "differences " are the people as we see them.Now, the question is , How can always fix up our mind upong the Unity ????

Well,,this whole process is all developing intense love/devotion(bhakthi) towards our IshtaDeivam( favorite god)..In the process ,slowly one gets to experience his presence (that blissful state).and after that the temptation to seek and getting foxed back by maaya will start vanishing..

 
At August 17, 2005 9:03 PM, Blogger Phoenix said...

I disagree with you "Society not allowing you to do" something is not a reason for not doing what you want to do...Society did nto allow independence but Gandhi saw what is possible..If he thought society did not allow maybe India would not have got independence. Ok, I am not saying you have to be a great leader or a rebel and fight the society..But you should do what you want to do...The experiences may make you not help an old lady or not drop an old man, it is ok if you want to shape up that way or it is ok if you dont let bad experiences interfere with good you do...either case is fine coz it is what you want to do...

I did not read the comments maybe you have answered it already

 
At August 17, 2005 11:19 PM, Blogger Kasthuri Srinivasan said...

Arjuna,
It is my opinion that Karma yoga is very difficult to follow. The notion of 'I am the doer' follows us for a very long time even in meditation leave alone the work we do outside. So, just sticking to just Karma yoga alone (like attempting to do service to the society and just that alone) will not last long for a long time. We have to be normal and patient and not rush into these types of social activities. But, this doesn't mean we should not help the persons in need.

 
At August 18, 2005 1:09 AM, Blogger Aatma said...

Can i ask you something Arjun, next time an old woman asks you for help , will you help her or not? See its your conscience that finally comes to play, I believe if u'r a good guy, u will help immaterial of what the consequences are - because it is in your nature to do it.

Help you should, not because you will gain something, but because it is expected of you. If the good stop doing it, then what will be the state of the world - Just think about it a little.

See many genuinely don't know how to react - in situation 1 - an old gujju lady and a black guy - she must have got scared - who knows - we can't draw conclusions right.

In situation 2 - some people are religious fanatics, but u handled it pretty well - Thumbs up for you - u showed a good sense of maturity there - I believe it was not because you are a Hindu - but because u are a better person thats all.

Not all Hindus are tolerant - Our dear shiv sainiks and VHP paint a different picture all together.

At the end of the day - when u deny someone help, just think, that someone could have been you or someone close to you.

 
At August 18, 2005 1:56 AM, Blogger Kasthuri Srinivasan said...

Arjuna,
I have blogrolled u.

 
At August 18, 2005 3:55 AM, Blogger X-Phile said...

Hi Mr Arjuna

This reg the comment u left on my page... What made u feel that u should not be born again. And, what did amma reply for that. It all depends on your karma, once ur duty is over u'll be out of your cycle. And, actually you need not bother about it. Enjoy life, be good to everyone and yourself. Wish u all Happiness

Namashivaaya
Karthik

 
At August 18, 2005 4:30 AM, Blogger Sriram C S said...

How can we love Osama Bin Laden? How can we love Saddam Hussein? How can we love George Bush? How can we love the muslim radicals? How can we love Hitler (even though I like him ;) )How can we love Duryodhana? How can we love Karunanidhi? How can we love Ramadoss? :) It is precisely these sort of people who have to be loved. Anybody can love Gandhi or Ramana Maharishi. :)

Even Lord Krishna gets pissed off with Sishupala and kills him :)..I love Krishna's principle..To destroy the bad, you can even follow the adharma path!! That's what he did to Dronacharya! Krishna's principle is very right and true. But who am I to determine what is wrong and what is right? Am I perfect myself?

But one thing is easy for me - Love all the pretty ones ;) - LOL Here we concur!!! ;)

 
At August 18, 2005 5:14 AM, Blogger Arjuna_Speaks said...

bala - sure I would do that..

 
At August 18, 2005 5:20 AM, Blogger Arjuna_Speaks said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At August 18, 2005 5:21 AM, Blogger Arjuna_Speaks said...

Krishna - I completely agree with you..But what I am trying to say is that I am not expecting anything from the help I have offered..Our help should not land us in trouble since our families are dependent on us..If it is our duty to look after the family, then we should ensure that our family does not in anyway get affected by our actions..

There is this phrase "charity begins at home"..that doesnt mean you should not do charity..I dont see anything wrong in doing charity..by helping someone financially is never a problem provided you have enough funds to backup your family..But when it comes to personal help that can jeopardize your dependents life - then you need to be extra cautious..since its our Dharma to protect our dependents..Am I right here?

5:20 AM

 
At August 18, 2005 5:28 AM, Blogger Arjuna_Speaks said...

phoneix - I just want to give you one example..the great Bharathi..His contributions to the society is immeasurable..He never expected anything from the society..But how many people during his time time supported him financially? He spent all the money he earnt on contributing to the society..he didnt look after his family..they suffered because of his actions..Did this society look after them? Did this society do what they did for Gandhi? When Bharathi died there were only a few people to cremate him! What is the use of praising someone when he is dead! He suffered more than him, his family suffered!

I completely agree that we should do selfless service..but we should clean up our mess before we clean up others..Isnt it?

 
At August 18, 2005 5:30 AM, Blogger Arjuna_Speaks said...

Kasthuri - perfect..Yeah what I am trying to say is we should help the needy people..but our actions should be in such a way that it does not have any negative effect on you or your family..

 
At August 18, 2005 5:30 AM, Blogger Arjuna_Speaks said...

Kasthuri - thanks for blogrolling me :)

 
At August 18, 2005 5:33 AM, Blogger Arjuna_Speaks said...

Aatma - I will definitely keep on helping..I am not going to stop..but what I am trying to say is..we should be careful..we cant go and help someone blindly..we will end up in trouble..just imagine if the guy I gave a lift was a extremist who wanted to bomb some place..I culd have landed in jail for giving him a lift!!! So its better not to give lift to anyone!

 
At August 18, 2005 5:37 AM, Blogger Arjuna_Speaks said...

x-phile - :) - thanks - I left the comment long time ago :)..I should blogroll you..so that I can read ur blog regularly..

I have met Amma several times..I always ask this question of not being born again..Even in my dreams I have asked her :)..For my life is just sorrow..I have everything in my life..But what I see is just sorrow..As rajnikanth says happiness is just a small part of life where sorrow reigns!! Think of disease, death of your loved ones..then you will realized that you dont want to be born again :)..

Amma asked me the same question you asked by holding my chin..

 
At August 18, 2005 5:37 AM, Blogger Arjuna_Speaks said...

x-phile thanks for your wishes and I wish you the same :)

 
At August 18, 2005 5:38 AM, Blogger Arjuna_Speaks said...

agnibharathi - neenga samiyar! ;)

"But one thing is easy for me - Love all the pretty ones ;) - LOL Here we concur!!! ;) "

This statement proves my above statement is true since it applies to me as well :))

 
At August 18, 2005 10:39 AM, Blogger Anand Ramamoorthy said...

ARJUNA
I agree with your observation, I have not seen Anniyan but I think people are indeed put off by the notion that if they help others and thigs go wrong they may be in trouble. in these cases self-preservation takes precedence and altruism takes a backseat.
however, think of all those who suffer in the world ( not these occasional cases like lifts and all),those on platforms, those children who watch helplessly as the vehicles whiz past..as they sit on the roadside ..these things upset me. I think lord SRIMANNarayana must bring about a new world order where all people are provided for and atleat comfortable. this he will do only through human instruments. hope I can help SRIKRISHNA someday as his complete devotee who has transcended materialism .
SARVAM SRIKRISHNAARPANAMASTHU!

 
At August 18, 2005 1:40 PM, Blogger Ganesh said...

Arjun
very very good post.
And our biases prevents from getting help even we need help!!

 
At August 18, 2005 6:43 PM, Blogger Arjuna_Speaks said...

Anand - thanks for leaving your comments :)..I guess the sufferings people undergo in this world is due to their karma and even God cant do anything. Since it is the Law of Nature and God can never interfere with that, even though he is the Creator.

 
At August 18, 2005 6:44 PM, Blogger Arjuna_Speaks said...

Ganesh - thanks :)

 
At August 19, 2005 4:01 AM, Blogger Sriram C S said...

Arjuna - Satham pOttu sollAthInga nAn sAmiyArnu, police pudichundu poidum!!

 
At August 19, 2005 4:57 AM, Blogger Arjuna_Speaks said...

agnibharathi - :))

 
At August 20, 2005 4:19 AM, Blogger Venky Krishnamoorthy said...

Good life incidents Arjuna. I actually admire you for giving a lift to the muslim gentleman ... and for being patient enough to drop him at the tube station.

 
At August 20, 2005 6:02 AM, Blogger Arjuna_Speaks said...

thanks Venky :) - but I do regret doing that :)

 
At August 23, 2005 8:43 PM, Anonymous Kiran said...

Excellent Blog Arjuna . I thoroughly enjoyed reading them.I am also not Jesus Christ but would definitely keep trying help others even after bad experiences

 
At August 24, 2005 8:05 AM, Blogger Arjuna_Speaks said...

thanks Kiran :)

 

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