Thursday, August 04, 2005

Is beauty important?

Scene 1:

"Alagu oralavuku iruntha pothum - gunam thaan mukiyam Arjuna"

"Kalyanam nalla thaan nadanthathu - aana enna ponnu thaan avalava vadiva (alagaa) illai"

These were the contradictory statements usually made by my family members for the past few years. The first statement is said whenever I say - that I should marry a pretty girl! The second statement is said whenever they go to a marriage ceremony and see a not-so-pretty bride standing next to a handsome bridegroom! I guess these statements are usually made in many homes today.

Scene 2:

There are two girls in the interview. Both perform the same level in the interviews. Both have the same number of qualifications and ranks. Now, one looks absolutely beautiful. The other not! So whom would you choose as your ideal candidate?

If this question was asked to me - I would definitely say - the beautiful one! I guess the majority of the male population would!

So my questions are -

1) From Scene 2, is beauty really important to be successful in life? Is it an asset or a liability?

2) Why do people contradict themselves in Scene 1?

I would like to know your views on these.

30 Comments:

At August 04, 2005 5:21 PM, Blogger B said...

If I am the manager, I will hire the no-so-pretty one for the job. The reason is, the beautiful one wud distrct other male workers and reduce productivity (i guess many companies are following this as a hidden poilicy in such situation).

I saw ur comment on Sriks blog, Nice to see u dude. I remember u as one of the few Srilankans studied in our school(am i right?) but not sure whether u r from 12M3 or 12M4. I was in M3.

Bala

 
At August 04, 2005 5:31 PM, Blogger Arjuna_Speaks said...

thanks bala for leaving your comments - I have put a comment in your blog - do let me know your class :)

 
At August 04, 2005 5:33 PM, Blogger Arjuna_Speaks said...

Lets see it from another point of view - having a beautiful girl next to you - could help you work better - just to impress her with your skills and abilities :) - dont you think so?

 
At August 04, 2005 6:09 PM, Blogger RS said...

Define beauty - the one you are born with or the what you make for yourself?

=)

 
At August 04, 2005 6:55 PM, Blogger Aatma said...

Frankly speaking - In the first situation it should be both mixture of both - beauty and good nature, one without the other will be of no use. Picture aa pathe choice panradha rombh difficult - but picturele pudhikle na going forward does not make sense either.

I am trying to catch a middle ground here ;)

In the second question - if all their qualifications are the same for both of them, then you need to find something else to make one of them better than the other. Using beauty as a managerial decision either ways is wrong - rejecting someone just because the person is not beautiful or beautiful is actually insulting their intellectual capacity.

And at last all the great philosphers have agreed on one thing - Beauty is just skin deep - What is the gurantee that the person u think beautiful today will remain the same all their life and if not will you stop loving them then.

Beauty is important for the first attraction beyond that it loses all relevance.

 
At August 04, 2005 7:39 PM, Blogger Phoenix said...

I think the origin of the contradiction is in the definition of beauty in the first and second statement....
Alagu in the second line could mean the way in which one carries oneself...I think dressing appropriately and carrying yourself with grace compensates for beauty (i think)

 
At August 04, 2005 10:25 PM, Blogger Arjuna_Speaks said...

Ramya - thanks for leaving your comments - and the question you asked was brilliant - kind of an eye opener..

Ok - now to be very frank - this is y I started this topic -

I know quite a few girls in their early 30's and late 30's who are yet to get married - the sole reason was they were'nt pretty - that was the reason given by the prospective alliances..they were either classified as fat or dark or some other reason..Unfortunately the current trend in the Srilankan community here in London and all over the world is that they are so many of them in such a bad situation! I have heard loads of personal sad stories.

I wanted to discuss about that - but then thought - I may hurt the feelings of some who maybe in that situation - so I rephrased the entire stuff into a more common thing.

But I have no answer to your question :)

 
At August 04, 2005 10:30 PM, Blogger Arjuna_Speaks said...

Aatma - thanks for leaving your comments :) - I guess the majority of the male population would agree to your view.

that's what I am trying to point out here - beauty definitely is an asset since as you said for the first attraction to happen regardless of whether its marriage or something else - beauty plays an important factor. Now the definition of beauty here lies in the eyes of the beholder.

 
At August 04, 2005 10:34 PM, Blogger Arjuna_Speaks said...

phoneix - thanks for leaving your comments - yes I agree with you - the way you dress up also adds to the "looks" factor..

 
At August 05, 2005 6:08 AM, Blogger Narayanan Venkitu said...

To some extent yes.! Unfortunately true.! Applies to men as well I think ( at marriages now), at work too.!

 
At August 05, 2005 6:21 AM, Blogger viji said...

hey Arjuna,
u've raised a very valid point here. 1 thng tht ppl must rmbr is tht beauty wont last life-long. Esp,whn it comes2a marriage, the attitude of the prson matters a lot more than looks. If one marries an absolutely stunning beauty whose attitude sucks, life will only b hell.
&ppl's paramters2judge beauty are varied: some think tht a pencil-thin prsn is gud & some dont. Some ppl find a prsn gorgeous while othrs think he/shez mediocre.
A moderate looking compatible prson wud b best fr a marriage, instead of completely going by looks.

 
At August 05, 2005 8:29 AM, Blogger TJ said...

Simple.
Namba veettu pianukkuna Gunam preceeds Azhagu.
Adutha veetu kalyanathla na, appadiye 'jodi sumardhaan' appadenu koluthi pottfying...
Arasiyalla idhellam...

 
At August 05, 2005 8:47 AM, Anonymous vasanthi said...

It is true that a beautiful person need not be good at heart. But not all average looking people are good at heart as well. So is it not better to take a chance with the beautiful one.And isn't it a known fact that men have a weakness for beauty. It may be true for women tood. But dont we like to pick up a cute looking little pomernian even if the ugly looking street dog is standing next to it. First we see a person and slowly we tend to talk. And when u see a person who is good looking you have already formed a decent opinion about this person. If this person does talk a couple of sentences which are senseless it is ignored. But the not -so -looking girl has not been able to give a good first impression so now it totally depends upon the way she talks that will take her forward or backward both in interview as well as wedding.

 
At August 05, 2005 6:03 PM, Blogger Slice Of Life said...

even in beauty pagents u find wannabe beauties talk of inner beauty ...but the first impression of face ...will it last a life time?
uma

 
At August 05, 2005 6:07 PM, Blogger Arjuna_Speaks said...

narayana sir - thanks for leaving your comments - I am happy that you agreed with me :)

 
At August 05, 2005 6:09 PM, Blogger Arjuna_Speaks said...

viji - thanks for dropping by - yes I completely agree with you - that attitude is very important for marriage.

But this raises another question: so is it possible to find a beautiful girl with the right attitude? I have never seen one! :(

 
At August 05, 2005 6:10 PM, Blogger Arjuna_Speaks said...

tj - :) - that's true!

 
At August 05, 2005 6:12 PM, Blogger Arjuna_Speaks said...

vasanthi - wow - that's what my policy is - since I know quite a few not so good looking girls - and they have a horrid attitude - they think the whole world is behind them! But again - its quite hard to find a beautiful girl with the right attitude..

yes - ur comments are absolutely true!!

 
At August 05, 2005 6:16 PM, Blogger Arjuna_Speaks said...

yes again - in this world the first impression is the best impression :)

In marriages today - the photo plays the major part - if someone looks ugly in the photo - even though he may be a damn good guy - he is bound to be rejected!

Here in London - looks matters most - when it comes to job or marriages as narayanan sir said.

 
At August 05, 2005 6:17 PM, Blogger Arjuna_Speaks said...

the previous reply was for uma :)..tj, vasanthi and uma - thanks for dropping by :)

 
At August 06, 2005 12:05 AM, Blogger Aatma said...

I know looks are important in marriages - but didn't know it was so important for work. Are you sure it is important in workplace too - Being a CS graduate, looks are the last thing we worry about - we are a bunch of worker bees sitting and working in our small little hole.

May be it is important in a HR or business oriented roles.

But at the end of day, I believe love can cover all defects, I have seen some of my friends falling in love with girls who if u look in the picture or directly, u will not term them as beautiful, same for some of the girls I know.

When I asked them your question, they said, at first they were not attracted, but as they got to know each other as friends, the "chemistry" came into play. So actually more than Beauty it is the "chemistry" that is very important.

So in case of arranged marriage scenarios - it is beauty and in case of love marriage it is chemistry - Ulitmately it will only work if u enjoy each others company.

 
At August 06, 2005 9:00 AM, Blogger ioiio said...

Well... beauty isnt essential.. but it helps to succeed

 
At August 06, 2005 5:01 PM, Blogger Venky Krishnamoorthy said...

I read somewhere that "beauty" does not help you in your career.

Correct me if I am wrong?

 
At August 06, 2005 8:14 PM, Blogger Arjuna_Speaks said...

aatma - a very good point :) - In London - women need to look good - you rarely see a woman without makeup here :) - for men it doesnt matter - but women who are more into administration jobs need to look good and smart - else they will find it hard to sustain in their jobs :) - loads of competition here..

 
At August 06, 2005 8:15 PM, Blogger Arjuna_Speaks said...

ioiio - thanks for leaving a comment..

 
At August 06, 2005 8:17 PM, Blogger Arjuna_Speaks said...

Venky - thanks for leaing your comment :) - I am not sure - since I havent read it - but I have heard from others' experiences that the way you look and portray yourself is very important for many jobs such as administration, business etc..not sure about technical jobs..

 
At August 06, 2005 11:44 PM, Blogger BLOGDOCTOR said...

Did you know that blogging can be a disease if taken in excess? Addicted to blogging? Need help?
Never fear - the BLOGDOCTOR is here. The first step is to admit your addition.
Visit BLOGOHOLICS ANONYMOUS and take the quiz.

 
At August 06, 2005 11:52 PM, Blogger Arjuna_Speaks said...

blogdoctor - ingayum vanthutanya vanthutanyaaaaa

 
At August 08, 2005 10:09 AM, Blogger Sneha Acharya said...

ada .. it alwasy depends on wht u feel as beauty illaya .. SO it depends on whta the Hirer thnks as Beauty. Anyoen who is nrml lookign if has good sense of humor while taking and good wit wud defly be considered illaya.

 
At August 08, 2005 11:13 AM, Blogger Arjuna_Speaks said...

sneha - thanks for leaving a comment :) - neenga "illaya , illaya" solrathu unmayaka alaga iruku :)..

and I agree with your point - but I guess this applies more to the male community illaya? :)

 

Post a Comment

<< Home