Who Am I
Saturday, October 29, 2005
Wish you all a Happy and Prosperous Diwali :)
Let me conclude with something good! :) - I would like to inform you about a fellow blogger, a very nice person called "Kutti" Priya. She may be kutti in her appearance but she is definitely bigger than me when it comes to heart! Check out "Sahaaya" - the organization she has set up to help the poor kids! We must be proud of her!
So I am ending up with my Diwali message - "A little bit of food given to a hungry person is his ambrosia and his tears of joy is an immortality giving nectar to your Soul" - Lets live a life that is meaningful!
Hats off Priya!
Friday, October 28, 2005
Ok - first of all - I would like to thank each and everyone of you for your concern and wonderful tips. Thanks a lot. Second - as I said - my only problem is my stupid migraine and nothing else :) - I am just bit over cautious with diseases since I have seen my father suffering from my childhood days! So I am very cautious about diseases. As of now I am fit as fiddle or as Aatma says my Sarath body is still intact :P - lol
Ok - the reason why I started the previous topic was I wanted to write the following topic, a topic that has been in my mind for such a long time which I wanted to share with you all.
God has kindly given me everything in this life from great family especially my divine mother, health, money, education etc - but I am always sad within me! Why?
"Vaadiya Payirai Parukum Pothellam Naanum Vaadinen" - these were the famous words of Saint Vallalar.
These words are the only cause of my sorrow! Whenever I see a sick person, I feel sad. Whenever I see someone not happy, I feel sad. Whenever I see death, I am sad. Whenever someone around me is depressed, I get depressed. Whenever someone tells me about their sorrows, I am immersed in sorrow! When someone else suffers, I suffer!
That is one reason why I can never be next to a sick person. Even when my mother had some minor operations - I was not next to her! Since I cant see her suffering! I still feel guilty that I have not been with my mother when she suffered. But I really dont have the mental strength to see my mother or someone suffering! I really cant take it! So whenever I see my father suffer, I am feeling the pain he is undergoing.
That is why I have decided that - if I get a disease in the future and if I am married - I will make sure my wife and children (if any) are financially stable and I would leave them and go to my final destination - to my Divine Father Lord Arunachala in Tiruvanamalai. I do not want anyone to see me nor be next to me! I dont want others to undergo the suffering that I am going through!
That is why I never go to any marriages, parties, or any place where people enjoy their lives! Since whenever I see people being happy, I wonder how can people be enjoying their lives when you have people suffering! My mother thinks I am quite wierd and she always warns me not to become another Buddha! I wish I could be a Buddha!
The question I wanted to ask was - how can someone be detached when he sees people around him suffering? Why did Saint Vallalar say those famous words?
Thursday, October 27, 2005
Nowdays, Arjuna without migraine is equivalent to Rava Uppuma without Rava! For the past 4 days, I have got 3 migraine attacks - 2 on my right and today on the left side! This is the 5 th attack in 3 weeks! Usually at this time of the year - I start getting this stupid disease! Its such a pain! As soon as my eyes blur and I see some divine aura around me - I know that my friend has come to strike me! I immediately put 2 tablets of paracetamol - but still nothing helps. I am planning to go and see my GP aka doctor today! The main problem why I have been avoiding him is - he thinks that I am 'quite' paranoid about diseases and I am just imagining things! Whenever I go to him - I start saying I could have nephritis in the kidney, Biliary Atresia in the liver, Type B diabetes, left ventricular heart failure etc etc.. Moreover I suggested him some medicines and and he went what??? He requested me not to come to his clinic for a year! Maybe he is jealous that I am more knowledgeable than him!!
I have a severe paranoia when it comes to diseases from my early age of 14! I have been taking regular blood tests (Sugar, Blood Cholestrol (LDL,HDL, Trigylcerides)) every year ( and sometimes my cholestrol levels are over the roof!) and recently I have started having ECGs done. Next year I plan to have a MRI scan done to my heart and it could cost me a lot of money - that reminds me I should save some! I take garlic tablets daily, eat Benecol butter that is supposed to be a cholestrol buster, do exercises (????) and most importantly I regret and feel sad after eating junk food!
Now I am worried that I may have some problems with my insulin. My blood pressure is always low (113/66 mmHg - last year it was 107/57 mmHg!) with a pulse rate of 60 which my doctor in India says its good - but I am not quite happy with his answer! Yesterday when I was doing some research on low blood pressure I found out that low blood pressure could be caused due to diabetes as well! And now I am pissed off! Low blood pressure and migraine - something suspicious now! I need to have my body scrutinized asap!
For those who are wondering why on earth I am like this - as some of you(Parvati, Viji and Aatma) would know - my father is a heart transplant patient and kidney failure patient who lives on dialysis! Yesterday the doctor has told that his ventricle has narrowed (due to the asymmetry causing calcium deposits) and he may have to undergo an operation but there is a risk involved since he is a heart transplant patient! Now you would know why I am like this! I even had my own private medical insurance cover paying a whopping 45 pounds per month - then discontinued it after some advice! I guess its high time I get back my insurance again!
-- to be contd!
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Ok before, I start my topic - I would like to wish my love a very "Happy Birthday"!
Ok for the past few weeks, I have written some spiritual posts, some posts on music and now you could have easily guessed that I would come out with my posts on my loves and crushes :). Yes I am back to what I am good at! But before I start - some topics may be B-grade - so the women readers especially Parvati whom I respect so much - please excuse and pardon me! I am just trying to be very frank here! So pardon me if I have hurt your sentiments!
"Arjuna, you are so obsessed with skin!" - these were some wise, angry words from a friend who is a girl! How true! I still wonder why I am so obsessed with skin! My obsession and passion for beauty started from the age of 6. Some of my cousin sisters told me that at that age I used to sit on the wall in my house in Jaffna and look at all the school and college girls that passby! I still remember when I was 7, I asked my father "appa, why am I falling in love with all these girls who come to my house?"! So my passion for pretty women started from a very young age and as time passed by - my passion has turned into an obsession! While in college, I used to describe the beauty of women in such a passionate manner - my room was virtually filled with guys coming and listening to my passionate discourse!! For eg - I used to describe how a girl's hip should be - "If you roll a small ball (goli) over a girl's hip or iduppu - it should roll back and forth like a pendulum !"
From the day I saw Prashanth in "Hello" dancing for this song - I used to tell my mother that my ambition is to dance with 5 girls on the left and 5 girls on the right on top of Valluvar Kottam for this song! And even if I dont get 10 girls - I will atleast hire some and dance! My mother used to put her hand on her head :)) - Infact the day before I was born, my mother dreamt a kutti Hanuman was sleeping on a craddle! I still wonder how I can be a reincarnation of Lord Hanuman :P! Maybe its because I am bit naughty! lol
So why am I like this? Maybe its just my imaginations are so wild! My mother thinks I am bit artistic in my thoughts - and that is how I talk to people. I describe everything very passionately! I love anything that is beautiful. I love beautiful women, beautiful music, beautiful houses, beautiful animals, beautiful scenaries and even handsome men! I just simply adore beauty to its fullest!
Yesterday my dearest friend Atma was telling me that I would show my love to a girl to the fullest provided I dont see someone else. That was very true :) Since my mind just fluctuates whenever I see someone more beautiful and immediately fall in love with that one too!
Maybe its my Jathakam or astrological chart that is the culprit! My astrologers say since my Sukran or Venus is very strong - my love life would be always strong and advised me to stay away from women! Maybe that is one reason why I wanted to become a Saint:P - but I am quite sure its my vasanas from my previous birth that is tormenting me now!
[Note : There are so many negative things/sorrow/death/disease happening around me - so that is why I wanted to write something that could make others smile - so that I can be happy - I respect women so much and they are not an object of desire for me! I cannot live without them! Its just the beauty that adores me!]
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Guys this is about Jo, a fellow blogger you would have known. But for others who do not know about this amazing guy - just check his divine voice! His voice is ditto like K.J.Yesudas and Madhu balakrishnan. I happened to listen to his songs yesterday and immediately sent an email to A.R.Rahman providing him with the links! Hopefully he would respond! I have already sent emails to many of my friends informing about him :).. Such talent should be recognized! I wonder how these mallus have such divine voice - and not to forget the mallu girls are so pretty as well :)
Just click to listen to my favourite songs from Jo's blog:
1) An absolute beauty!
2)My all time favourite "harivarasanam"
3)My favourite mallu composer Deepak Dev's song from Symphony
Monday, October 24, 2005
After a series of discussions, I am back with a spiritual post. I have another serious topic for discussion which I would post soon. After my post on the "Inner meaning of the Caste System" - I would like to put up this post which tells you the inner meaning of sacrifice in Hinduism unfortunately misinterpreted by the common man as sacrificing animals to Hindu Gods.
According to Bhagwan Sri Sathya Sai Baba [Dharma Vahini - Chapter 1]:
"You have to understand ancient Dharmakarmas by entering into their symbolic meaning. The spiritual field has many a technical term, with its own special connotation. These have to be clearly understood, so that you can grasp correctly the teaching of the Sastras. Let us take an example: People used to celebrate Yajnas in ancient times; and they sacrificed Pasus or animals in these Yajnas. But, the animal is only a symbol. It was not the dumb creature that had to be cut to pieces. The animal leads a life of sacrifice, without man completing its career at the sacrificial pole! The animal that has to be disemboweled and offered is different; in the spiritual vocabulary, animal means "the body-consciousness", "the I-consciousness"; and it is this that has to be slaughtered. The Lord is known as Pasupathi or Govinda; Pasupathi means the Lord of all Jivas, Pasu meaning Jiva; Govinda means the Guardian of Cows or Jivas, "Go" meaning Jiva. The tending of cows is a symbolic leela of Krishna to indicate His Mission of tending Jivas."
This is what the Saiva Siddhantha preaches as Pasu-Pathi-Paasam. Its three basic codes are 1. Pasu(the contained state of the spirit) 2. Paasam (the three threads that bind -Ego, Karma and Mysticism) 3. Pathi (primordial matter - God). Liberation of the spirit from attachments and attaining salvation (Mukthi) and identifying with God is the ultimate aim.
Unfortunately, people have misunderstood these concepts and ended up slaying animals for sacrifice.
Thursday, October 20, 2005
I have seen this in the temple boards of Kancheepuram and Madurai. I have no clue why they have this in the first place!Because God is common to all irrespective of any religion and why shouldnt a non Hindu enter the inner sanctum? Infact if you try to get hold of a copy of Kumudam dated February 23, 2004 - there is a very good article on page 17. The article informs you about the person or sthabathi who built the thangarathams or golden chariots for temples like Tirupathy, Marudamalai, Mangadu and various other famous temples. The stabathi who built these golden chariots is a Muslim called Alaudin! He was also instrumental for building the golden kodi maram (I dont know the english name) of Tiruvanamalai and Tiruthani. He has also built 5 Vimanas for the ISKCON temple in Bangalore! The article also describes that Alaudin keeps in mind the Agamas while preparing these things and also undergoes a rigorous fasting while doing it!
I have already written about my driver Yusuf in this blog:
As you all know he is a muslim and if you read my blog on him - u would see how he respected my religion. He used to partake in all the religious homams I had in my home, he used to circumbulate the sacred Holy Arunachala so many times with me, he used to partake in the abhishekams in temples etc.. So whenever he accompanied us into the inner sanctum of the temples, my mother used to call him by the name "Venkataraman"! Just incase someone stops him knowing him to be a non-hindu!
I assume its just the cleanliness issue that is being considered here. But how many of us Hindus are clean in the first place when going to temples? If I eat non-veg, I make sure that I dont go to the temple on that day and I go on the next day after having a head bath.
At this point of time, where there should be religious harmony, I guess these type of boards should be removed. Non hindus should be encouraged to come to temples. Then only they will have the opportunity to understand our great religion that preaches Universal Love.
Your views are welcome.
[Update: I just remembered an incident that happened a few days ago. My father's friend who is of pakistani origin (muslim) gave my father some money and asked him to buy some coconuts and flowers and told him to do pooja in a Shiva temple! He was telling my father the way to do the pooja! It seems he has almost 48 pillayar statues and last year my father brought one for him from Chennai!]
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
This question was triggered by Parvati's and Viji's comments in my previous post. I used to say to my mother, that there is no use of marrying, and its better for me to become a saint(??) ! But my outlook completely changed when I came to UK. I know a couple of aunties in their late 50's here and they are still single. They tell me that it is a big mistake on their part not to have married and they advice me to get married! They regret their decisions now. That too in UK, loneliness easily creeps in and you become mad after sometime! Parvati points out that marriage and children are not a must for a women and it is not the end of their lives. Even though I agree with her - I have to say that if a women prefers to be single, then she must make sure that she is occupied for the rest of her life! Else loneliness sets in! But still, I am not sure whether there is some sense of satisfaction at the end! Does she get a sense of completeness? - I am not sure!
This applies to men also. I can never be alone without women in my life! Women(my mother,chitthi,aunty, my sister) made me what I am today, and cant even imagine my life without a woman! I can always remain single till my mother is alive - but after her - there would be a huge emptiness in my life, which could be filled only by a wife! If I am to remain single, then I should either become someone like Ramana Maharishi, Atal Bihari Vajpayee or Abdul Kalam and remain occupied without feeling any loneliness! But I am not sure whether I can become like them!
So according to me, marriage is a definite must for both men and women provided their wavelengths match - else its better not to marry!.
Please do put in your thoughts :)..
Sunday, October 16, 2005
[Dedicating this story to my aunty - who died without tasting motherhood, and to all similar women living with pain in this cruel world and to reiterate the fact that I am always there for them as a son!]
இடம்: விஜயா மருத்துவமனை.
"ராம், sorry to say, உங்க மனைவி ரொம்ப serious-அ இருக்கிறாங்க! குழந்தையா, மனைவியா - நீங்க decide பண்ணிகுங்க!" என்றார் டாக்டர்.
அவள் பெயர் வசந்தி. திருமணம் ஆகி 7 வருடஙகள் ஆகின. அவளிடம் எல்லாம் இருந்தது, ஒன்றைத் தவிர. அது குழந்தை! அவள் ஒரு மலடி! ஆம், இது தான் சமுகம் அவளுக்கு கொடுத்த பட்டம்! தன் கணவனைத் தவிர, வேறு யாரும் அவளின் நிலமையை புரிந்து கொள்ளவில்லை. இத்தனை வருடங்களில் அவள் அடைந்த வேதனைகள் பல. குழந்தை இல்லை என்ற காரணத்தால் சமுதாயம் அவளை உதாசினபடுத்தியது. தன் கணவனின் தங்கை திருமணத்தில், அவள் மாமியார் அவளை மணமேடையில் நிற்க வேண்டாம் என்று கூறியது, தன் சொந்த சகோதரியின் வளைகாப்புக்கு அவளை வரவேண்டாம் என்று கூறியது என பல வகையால் சமுதாயம் அவளின் இதயத்தை கிழித்தது. ஏன் என்றால் அவள் ராசி இல்லாதவளாம்! இதற்கெல்லாம் அவளின் ஒரே பதில், கணவனுக்கு தெரியாமல் பல இரவுகளில் அவள் விடும் கண்ணீர்.
இறைவன் நல்லவன்! வசந்தி கருவுற்றாள்! இத்தனை வருடங்களாக அவளை அவமானபடுத்திய சமுதாயம் இப்பொது தன் தலையில் அவளைத் தூக்கி வைத்து ஆடியது! அவள் கருவுற்ற அந்த 9 மாதங்கள் அவளின் வாழ்வின் மிகவும் சந்தோஷமான தருணங்கள். தாய்மையின் ஒவ்வொரு வலியும் அவளுக்கு இன்பமாக இருந்தது.
இடம்: விஜயா மருத்துவமனை.
"டாக்டர், எனக்கு என் மனைவி தான் ரொம்ப முக்கியம்! எனக்கு என் குழந்தை வேண்டாம் டாக்டர்! Please எப்படியாவது அவளை காப்பாதிடுங்க டாக்டர்!" என்று வலியால் துடித்து கொண்டிருக்கும் வசந்தியை Operation theatre-க்கு கொண்டு சென்றவாரே கதறினான் ராம்.
"ராம், we will try our best. அதற்கு மேல் கடவுள் கையில் தான் இருக்கு! Please sit down ராம்" என்று கூறிக்கொண்டே Operation theater-குல் நுழைந்தார் டாகடர்.
"டாக்டர், எனக்கு என் குழந்தை தான் முக்கியம். குழந்தை இல்லாம நான் இந்த சமுதாயத்தால் தினம் தினம் சாவதற்கு பதிலாக, நான் ஒரே ஒரு முறை குழந்தை பெற்று, நானும் ஒரு தாய் என்ற பெருமிதத்தில் இறந்திடுவேன் டாக்டர். Please என் குழந்தையை எப்படியாவது காப்பாதிடுங்க டாக்டர்".
என்றாள் வசந்தி கண்ணீருடன். டாக்டர், வசந்தியின் கண்களை, ஒருமுறை பார்த்தார். அவளின் கண்ணீருக்கு விடை தெரியாதவாரே, அவள் கரங்களை பிடித்தபடி டாக்டர் உள்ளே செல்ல, Operation theatre கதவுகள் மூடின.
Friday, October 14, 2005
The director who gave us "Autograph" (one of the best films I had ever seen - I could'nt sleep for 2 days!) is back with Thavamai Thavamirunthu. This film is releasing for Diwali. I saw the above picture in Ananda Vikatan and it reinforced my strong belief in Cheran! Its such an artistic picture! An epitome of simplicity, ethinicity, rusticity, elegance and beauty! Just beautiful! I am hooked to the songs from the film and infact I am quite shocked since the songs were composed by Sabesh-Murali (brothers of Deva)! They gave a wonderful BGM in Autograph and I am quite sure the BGM of this movie is one to look for. Do listen to the songs - its just mesmerizing. Ho - I should not forget to say about Padma Priya - the heroine of this film - I am just mesmerized by her beauty from the day I saw her interview in some malayalam channel long time ago! She is damn pretty!
Click to listen to these wonderful songs:
Thursday, October 13, 2005
[Update: Just remembered my old webpage for Asin. I stopped updating them now! : http://www.dcs.kcl.ac.uk/pg/arjuna/index1.html .
Moreover, my yahoogroups for asin: goddessasin - I dont update any news nowdays and I plan to find some new moderators - anyone interested - let me know :)]
உன் அழகைப் பாத்து சந்திரன் மேகதிற்குள் மறைந்தது,
அதன் அவமானம், கண்ணீர் துழிகளாக இம்மண்ணில் விழுந்தன,
நீ பிறந்தது, என்னை கொல்வதர்காகவா?
இன்றே என்னை தீயால் கொன்றுவிடு -
உன் காதல் தீ என்னை தினமும் கொல்லுதடி!!
தீ காயங்களுடன் - ஆர்ஜுனா :(
[Atma and Adi - For tanglish, please refer first comment!]
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
My long cherished dream of having the entire Mahabaratha episodes directed by B.R.Chopra has come true today. Got the entire DVD collection from amazon.co.uk today. Its the greatest epic of all time and its just awesome watching it again - the only problem is the out-of-synch subtitles and its a shame I cant understand hindi :( - hindi thoda thoda malum!. Watched the first two episodes today. I am just waiting to get to the episodes of the Kurukshetra. Its a must buy for all lovers of this great epic.
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
You made this happen! I would like to thank each and everyone of you who have kept me going and tolerating the utter nonsense I write! I would like to dedicate this song to you guys:
This is what I feel about you guys! Luv u all! :)
Monday, October 10, 2005
Just wanted to write about the events that happened today..
My singhalese friend "I" came and met me today..She recently got married to a guy she saw in Srilanka and none of her parents, family members and friends know about it. She was telling me how this marriage took place all of a sudden and how this guy has become a pain in her a** now!This guy is still staying in Srilanka, and does not do any work, and always asks her to send money for his living! And if she doesnt repond to his requests for money, he threatens to commit suicide! It seems he was telling her that if his mother passes away, he would definitely commit suicide, since he does not know what to do without his mother! One helluva guy! She was asking me what to do with him! I just told her one thing - Divorce Him!! I cant stand men who depend on women for money! Yuck! There is no use of having this idiot as a husband, so suggested her to divorce him and she feels that it is a wise decision! I am not sure whether what I have done is right or wrong - but this is the right decision according to me! Its better to come out of a relationship rather than trying to adjust with some lazy buffoon who does not love her but just wants her for money! I am not sure how many of you would agree with me on this! A typical balachander type of puratchi! If she had kids, then its a different story, but since she doesnt - its better for her to come out and marry someone else!
Why on earth do these girls wear makeup and come to temples? They dress as if they are coming to a fashion show!! Ridiculous! It just irritates me to see these women coming to temples wearing all these jewels as if they are parading for a jewellery ad! Atrocious!Ditto with men who come with rings in their all their fingers and gold chains on their necks! It just irritates me!! I cant stand it!
Thursday, October 06, 2005
கண்ணே நான் இருக்கும் இடமோ லால்குடி,
நீயோ எனக்கு ஓர் சாத்துகுடி
வீட்டில் வந்து கேட்டாய் காபி பொடி,
அன்று விழுந்தது எனக்கு காதல் அடி
நீ கொஞ்சம் ஏறி வா மாடிப்படி,
அங்கே என்னை இறுக்கி கட்டிப்பிடி
அதை கண்டதும் உன் தாடி வச்ச daddy
எனக்கு போட்டார் பார் தர்ம அடி
நீ மட்டும் ஒரு வார்த்தை சொல்லடி,
நான் விழுகிறேன் உன் தகப்பன் காலடி!
[For tanglish - please refer first comment]
Sari Sari ennai ellarum pugalathinga! No maalais (garlands) or mariyathais please :P - Also if you want to organize any events to felicitate me - please note - I will be busy for the next few months - so no call sheet ! LOL
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
TJ and I met all of a sudden last sunday. We walked along the Thames and then went to the newly built Murugan temple in Eastham! This temple is the most beautiful Hindu temple in UK - it was so beautiful and unlike the other temples which are built in old churches - this temple is magnificiently built, has its own gopuram and loads of parking space. We had prasadam(Ven pongal, Chakra pongal etc - I would have preferred to have some Sambar and papaddum in their menu :P) for dinner and then went to Chennai Dosa for filter coffee!
Eastham Murugan Temple
Westminister Clock Tower
Monday, October 03, 2005
"Entha ponnukum kalyanam agalaati, Arjuna oru kadai kann parvai paatha pothum - nichayama kalyanam aidum - not with him but with someone else" - these were the wise words from my best friend Sriram :))..
My past track record suggests - 13 crushes - out which 9 got married as soon as I fell in luv with them!! And I was never even able to propose to any of these 13 - due to different reasons!
The first time I fell in luv/crush was with a girl called Meera when I was in my 6th std and she was in her 4th - me sari luv for 2 yrs with her - but didnt propose!
Then with "A" :) - during my 9th and 10th - again didnt have the guts to propose nor to tell anyone about this! But now told her!
Then during my first year with this abithakujalambal type girl called P.L (an iyengar) for 3 months or so! Married now!
Then during my second year with "Ni" and her sister "Na" in parallel :)) - (yeah oru kallula irandu maanga :)) ) - but the kallu missed the mangas! :( - Both got married as soon as I liked them and came to London and settled.
Then in my third year, I met a damn beautiful lankan girl called "D" - who was doing her BSc Agri in some stupid college near Trichy. This was the only girl I jollufied! Rombave valinchen! Next week she got proposed to someone and then got married - now in Australia! :(
Then in my first year PhD - one more - who got married - Dont want to tell who it is - incase that person checks this and finds out :))
Then a girl called "M" - damn pretty - my famil friend - things went well with her - response was damn good too! But found out that she was quite arrogant and fights with her sister by pulling her hair - that's it - appadiyai odi vanthuten! I dont want to loose my remaining hair! Vita pothum saami!
Then another girl called "S" - everything went well - told my parents - I want to marry her - my parents agreed - then found out she was in luv with someone - and now she is married too :(
Then few other girls - some got married and some not!
So when I was discussing my luv failures to Aatma - we decided that we shall never fall in luv with anyone and become saints - so that is why I dedicated that song in my previous blog :))..Athukaka ippadi ellarum etho condolence book-la sign podura mathiri - orai senti :))
But when I was reading the Bhagwat Gita - I came across some important verses - where Lord Krishna says to Arjuna - "Ho Arjuna, if you dont fight now, your enemies will think that you are scared of them and you are running away from them - so get up and fight - do your duty"
These words have given me a different outlook now - Yes, I am back again! Aatma - come buddy lets start our search all over again :))
As our "thalai" Ajith says in Attagasam - "Elunthiten - Itho Varen" - LOL